Lowering the Bar- Too Nice is Dangerous
Lowering the Bar - Being Too Nice is Dangerous
When I started teaching, I remember Teach For America expressing that lowering the bar for our students was not an option. If we lower the bar we are in fact harming our students more than helping them and playing into the systems of racism already in place. We are to hold each student to high standards and do what it takes to help them reach the bar.
They then taught us how to accommodate instead of modify, they introduced scaffolding and differentiation. We learned about equal and fair classroom management. I had all the tools I needed to be a great teacher and to raise the bar and keep it raised!
I loved this idea! In theory I was well equipped to take on the classroom. It sounded perfect, exactly what a mission is supposed to sound like. I was ready to dive in.
But what I wasn't ready for, was myself.
I had these tools but didn't understand how to use them. I knew what I should be doing (keeping the bar raised) but found that I kept lowering it, and at most times I wasn't even aware I was doing it. In the moment of a crazy classroom I would decide to be the "nice" teacher and extend the deadline, or be the "nice" teacher and change the assignment, or be the "nice" teacher and accept less than what I originally had planned. I typically found myself doing this because I wanted to be "nice" and well liked. I wanted to stop the craziness in my room and exchange it for yells of "thank you! you're the best".
But what was I doing!
I was playing into the systems of less. My students are those students and are only capable of less. My students have tough lives and everything else is a struggle so I'll make school easier and give them less. I was lowering the bar and viewing, without knowing, viewing my students as less.
I tried to cover this up by explaining to others that I was motherly and a push over, it made me feel better to explain it this way.
My teacher coach sat me down and brought this situation to light. I felt embarrassed and horrible. He reiterated why I was teaching and what I believed in and showed me that if I truly believed in equal education than I would stop lowering the bar and feeding into the systems of racism and instead be that hated teacher sometimes.
Since these first few months of teaching, I have made every effort I can to stop being "nice" and keeping that bar raised. There are times that I slip up and find myself having to retrace my steps. I constantly find myself telling my students that, "yes I did make that change yesterday but in fact I was wrong and am going to change it back". I also constantly find myself telling my students that, "if I didn't care I wouldn't ask you to do it, but I care so lets get this done". I am not perfect and am still learning. Each day is different and challenging and at times I am still too nice. But I will work on it.
Hi Ellie,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post, it is open and honest and it seems like you've learned a lot about yourself and the kind of educator you ultimately want to be in a very short time. I can relate to that feeling of wanting to be nice and not push too hard. Years ago, when I was still orienting as a brand new nurse in bone marrow transplantation, I had a teenage patient who had just had an abdominal procedure done, a G-tube placed for feedings. I received her back onto the unit after the procedure and her parent (who was a little too doting) didn't want her to have to walk to the bathroom since every time she moved she cried out in pain. They asked for a bedpan for her to use and I complied. Well, once she started using it she didn't want to give it up! Days went by and at this point the situation was getting a little ridiculous, but the girl was adamant the pain was too great and her parent wouldn't hear of it! I reached out to a senior co-worker for advice and she thought they were manipulating the situation, so she walked right into that hospital room, threw away the bedpan, and ordered my patient up to the bathroom in the presence of the doting parent. Lo and behold the girl did it! I was awed by my co-worker's determination and every day try to do what's right, even though it is uncomfortable. All we can do is try every day to do what's right, and learn and grow from our experiences. All that to say that it sounds like you've been doing a marvelous job!
Best,
Heidi
Hey Ellie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post and it resonated with me. I still remember at TFA institute the question of "what would you do?" if you had, say, a pregnant student who was working part-time and still working toward graduation. I think about this situation, and the situations I see on a daily basis often. There is a fine line between lowering the bar and working with students, which I am still figuring out on a daily basis as you are. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :-) - Cristina